Sunday, November 25, 2012

Wonder Twins! Activate!

My 3 kids all share a bedroom because we have a three bedroom house with 5 humans living in it.  They have been sharing a room since the twins were 5 months old.  And, because they share a room they can all pretty much sleep through anything anywhere.  1) they all sleep better because of it and 2) the 3rd bedroom gets to be their playroom so I can shut the door to the giant mess they make when they play.

The sleeping arrangement of the kids allows my oldest to sleep with someone else because she's scared of the dark.  The twins don't like sleeping apart from each other.  After all, they were together before they were born.  In fact, they have always wanted to sleep where they can put their hand out and know the other one is there.  When they were babies we had to put them in separate cribs because they would roll around and wake each other up and the only to get them to calm down and go the eff to sleep was if I put their cribs right smack together so they could see each other without one waking the other by bumping into one another.  Once everyone was old enough, we put two Ikea little kids' twin size loft beds in the kids' bedroom.  This way one is in the loft position and has a tent cover and a twin mattress underneath so it's effectively used as a bunk bed.  The other is flipped over so it's a twin bed with a canopy.   

The twins -always- sleep in the same bed.  The third bed is never used except for a quiet place and reading space.  The play room and the rest of the house is for being rowdy but the 2 actual bedrooms are quiet spaces.  Even friends are not allowed in bedrooms, nor do the kids want to let their friends play in their bedroom most of the time these days.  I also don't want the pets in their room when they're not in there, so I put up a baby gate.  It's one of those gates that that you have to step on a pedal while simultaneously pushing the door with a little force to open. So, the twins have figured out how to open it if they stand on the pedal together while one of them pushes the gate with both hands so the gate can stay latched so the pets don't shove their way in.  Killer noticed their joint efforts and has taught them to yell "Wonder Twins Activate!" when they do this.   They have started to do this anytime they're getting into something together.  It's super handy because now I know what they're doing when I'm not there to see them doing it.  

May the Peace be with You. 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Turkey Lurkey

I will just list what I'm making for dinner Thursday after we get back from doing the local Turkey Trot.  
In the crockpot:  blue corn cornbread with sausage, deseeded jalapeños and butternut squash. 
In the oven: the 1 hour 1 bowl dinner rolls that have no milk and the pumpkin pie. 
On the grill:  turkey legs and thighs that were brined and rubbed. 
On the stove:  lightly stir fried bok choy, broccoli, and radishes
                      and mashed maple yams
                      and orange cranberry sauce
Dessert: chiffon cake drizzled with lavender honey and the pumpkin pie.  

Enough said. 


Sunday, November 18, 2012

I, Leah or Am I a Broken Cylon?

I'm curled up in a corner of the couch typing this and my dog won't let me out of my spot.  He has laid down on my feet and sprawled across the only direct way out.  He's usually pretty content to lay next to me but he doesn't make it so I can't move unless he knows I'm feeling a bit off and short circuited which I am.    

November is more than NaBloPoMo or NaNoWriMo or even Thanksgiving; although, I am thankful.  Apparently, this month is also Epilepsy Awareness month.  I didn't know such a thing existed;  my very good friend told me about it because she's awesome and loves me.


1 in 3 people know someone with epilepsy. 
You can educate yourself about epilepsy from these links.  

I, Leah.  

I have left-side TLE epilepsy with complex partial and myoclonic seizures I've pinpointed to beginning when I was 16.  TLE means is that I have seizures that originate in the left side of my temporal lobe also affecting the hippocampus.  For me, the seizures affect my short term memory, spatial navigation, ability to speak, sometimes my ability to process auditory information from my right ear, and the sight in my right eye.  The myoclonic seizures are just quick jerks that feel like muscle spasms, usually thought of as clumsiness.  Just about everyone has experienced myoclonic jerks in the form of hiccups or the jerk you get when you fall asleep. Both seizures are small and can last from a few seconds to 2 minutes.  Mine only last for about 20 to 30 seconds.  I never lose consciousness while I'm having a seizure.   Apparently, I cry, can't respond during it and I don't always remember that I've had one.  I can be confused afterward, I'm always extremely tired and have trouble getting my words out or finding the right words.  If it happens in the evening, I just go to bed.  When I have trouble speaking, I just mime stuff to my hubby or he finishes the sentence for me.  Even my friends have finished sentences for me.

 The seizures rarely happen now that I'm on medication to control the epilepsy.  The original dose controlled about 75% the seizures.  One of many upsides is now I recognize how it feels before I have a seizure (aura); and, I know my triggers now.  In particular, big allergic reactions, alcohol, too little sleep, and too much caffeine, especially those last three combined, and rapidly flashing lights.  It's actually really great that three of those are easy to avoid.  Although, quitting all alcohol and most caffeine almost made me cry.  I grieved them for a couple of weeks.  But, I've been through much worse things than this while dealing with unknown uncontrolled epilepsy, and honestly, I've quit worse things than caffeine and alcohol. An idea that has really put this entire last year into perspective.

I feel like I'd come out of a 20 year fog I didn't realize I was in. I could never remember things I'd said and schedules I'd made.  I have lost friends because of how I am post seizure without realizing that's what it was.  I always assumed I was a crappy friend and didn't know how to fix that.  I always thought my trouble speaking was what happened after I had a migraine.  The littlest things turned out to be the biggest thing for me.  I quit having random vertigo and light isn't randomly dimming (for instance, the sun on a cloudless day). Things you don't want to tell anyone about because they might think you're crazy.  I am not nearly as clumsy-- I don't run into everything when I am tired at all, no doors, door frames, corners and furniture.  I quit hitting my head on EVERYTHING-- no more braining myself on the cabinets, the refrigerator door, the kids' play structure, the car getting in and out. I am not dropping anything anymore; there are a lot less messes and broken things to clean up.  I might even be able to keep my iPhone and laptop in decent shape (maybe).  And HOLY CRAP, I can remember things!  It's such an extreme difference even my friends have noticed-- it's really that big a deal.  My migraines subsided by about 85%, also very exciting. And interestingly, my dog seems to know that I'm going to have a seizure before I do.  He already bothers me all the time, but about 5 to 6 hours before I have a seizure or feel like I might have one, he won't get the hell out of my face, literally.  I used to be extremely annoyed, but now I'm extremely thankful.

However, because the medication was only controlling about 75% of the seizures, my doctor doubled the dosage about 3 weeks ago.  It's a slow increase taken over the course of 6 weeks until I am on the intended dosage.   It makes me extremely tired (which will go away) which I'm all too familiar with anyway.  Then two weeks ago a virus hit everyone in the house, taking us down one by one during which I had a couple of seizures making things just that much harder.  The better part of last week was spent catching up on everything that had been put on hold.

The Fresh Beat Band as broken robots.
Last night, I took my oldest daughter to a Fresh Beat Band concert.  It was early in the evening and blissfully short with a break in the middle.  However, it was dark and about 1/3 of the crowd had these rapidly flashing lights that were being sold at a stand with all the usual concert merch.  I had to remain focused on the stage and tell my daughter to keep it on the just the glow setting that changed color and not the flashing setting.  I was able to avoid a seizure as long as I didn't look into the crowd and didn't have it near my face.

The end result is my 4 year old and I had to talk about how mommy has epilepsy and seizures.  Then we talked about what that means.  We'll work on what to do in all kinds of emergencies including the event if mommy has an allergic reaction or seizure that is a big one or one that goes on too long.  I have been pressed by family and friends to get a medic alert bracelet because of the epilepsy, the rice allergy and penicillin allergies.  I already have ICE numbers in my wallet and on my phone.  I really don't know why I was resisting so hard about getting a medic alert bracelet.  I always thought of the bracelets as these big ugly clunky things or like those buttons that geriatrics in assisted living wear.  You know the commercial, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"  But those are honestly really stupid reasons not to get one.  I looked them up, there are some very fashionable bracelets, wallet cards and necklaces these days.  People even get medic alert tattoos now.  I did a survey of EMTs and what kind of medic alert items they look for (they do actually look).  Unsurprisingly, it's the obvious ones, the big clunky bracelets.  They don't have time to look in your wallet; and, the more the item looks like regular jewelry, the less they think to look at it.   In light of the survey, I settled for one of the unfashionable sort of clunky kind.

I am incredibly thankful for my family, friends, church family and the incredible doctors that helped figure all of this out.  All of whom provided support and continue to do so in nothing but positive ways.  

If you read all the way to the end of this post, good for you! That's kind of persistence I like to see.  I hope my story hasn't been too horribly boring and even if it was, I don't want to know about it.

Peace Out.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Kill Zone

In my kitchen, I have what I call the "Kill Zone".  I have taught the kids this term.  Killer already knew about it.

Me: Ok everybody front and center! I want you to repeat after me, "Kill Zone."
Wild Monkeys:  Kill Zone!
Me: This is the Kill Zone.  Stay out of the Kill Zone.  Ok, say it with me,  "I will stay out of the Kill Zone."
WMs:  I will stay out of the Kill  Zone!
Me:  Do we go in the Kill Zone?
WMs: NO!
Me:  You may go now.
WMs: Yeah!
Then they all 3 proceeded to run circles around the island, including running in the Kill Zone.

My kitchen has the fridge, the stove/oven with some counter on either side of the stove all in a line.  The sink with the trashcan underneath is perpendicular to the line of the fridge and stove.  Exactly opposite from the stove is one edge of my wood block island.  This is the Kill Zone.   If I am cooking, do not stand in the Kill Zone.  Do not enter the Kill Zone.  It's a fast moving area and I don't like slowing down making it a dangerous area to be in if you're not the one prepping and cooking.  Even the dog knows not to enter the Kill Zone, having been stepped on several times while attempting to lay down directly behind my feet.   The kids have all been bumped on the head with the refrigerator door at least once.  Killer has been close to the pointy end of a large knife because he entered the Kill Zone while I was about to put it in the sink and didn't see him. At the time, I was watching something on the stove while stirring with my other hand.  Now, they all know to say something before entering the Kill Zone so I can slow down.  I should put motion sensors to a door bell whenever anyone enters the kitchen at all, whether they're close to the Kill Zone or not.  I'd put up gates but all the humans in the house know how to operate them.

Now, normally I'd be at church right now, but Chuckles (one of the WMs) has a yuck cold.  We thought we'd spare everyone our germs and stay home.   Instead of sitting around doing nothing (I am a hyper person with a slacker's heart), I am going to start baking and roasting butternut squash, delicata squash, tomatillos, and tomatoes.  Today I'll go ahead and make apple sauce, apple butter (starts with good apple sauce), butternut squash soup, and tomatillo sauce.  Tomorrow I'll do a double batch of black bean and butternut squash chili, marinara, pizza sauce, and tomato soup, unless I'm feeling incredibly industrious which I might since I don't really want to do it tomorrow.  Tuesday I'll make some stuffed delicata squash.

It sounds like it'll take all day and it will.  But I have a 7 qrt. slow cooker and a smaller 4qrt slow cooker that will do all the cooking for me.  The butternut squash soup doesn't take long so I can just do that on the stove.  I have an oven with what I like to call the "pie drawer" because it is just exactly the right size to put two pies in it side by side.   For many ovens, it's just a warming drawer but mine is an actual oven.  It's super handy when you're doing a lot of baking and roasting.  This way it I don't have to stand there watching everything (impossible with 3 wild monkeys in the house).  The oven with the drawer at the bottom is just big enough to roast the butternut, the delicata, tomatillos and tomatoes all at once.

Now, I could just do all the steps in the slow cookers and just skip the oven altogether but that actually take more time unless you have 6 slow cookers in your kitchen; and especially in the case of the tomatoes and tomatillos, roasting makes the flavor just that much better.

Have yummy and blessed Sunday Y,all.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Midnight Visitors

As those of you with children know, sometimes they are unable to sleep in their own beds.   It's as if their beds are hot lava.  Usually, my kids will wake up at 5:30AM every. damn. day.  Sigh...  Then they come in to our room and harass us to get up at which point I smack Killer in the head until he gets up with them.  We have tried to get them to read numbers on a digital clock and tell them that they are not allowed to wake us up until six zero zero.  This has led our oldest daughter to whine and cry until six zero zero, thus thoroughly pissing us off every. damn. morning.  We love 'em, God bless 'em.  But to be honest, we are a little bit excited for the day when they are teenagers and don't want to get up at 5:30 AM anymore.  Thinking about having kids my childless pals?  Think again.  They're like a party you can never leave. 

Of the two of us, Killer is much better at functioning in the morning.  I can't form coherent sentences with my face.  All I can I can do is grunt and growl.  I run into things, the doorways, the tables, the animals, the toys, the counters, the furniture, etc. just trying to make to the kitchen.  Then I will open a cabinet door into my face or head.  It is especially bad if I had a seizure the day before or that night.  Leah Smash!  I'll admit it's comical.  The kids don't even try to get me up anymore because I just growl at them, roll over and go back to sleep.  I'm like a really clumsy hibernating bear.   Killer and I have given up on trying to find me an alarm clock I can't break.  Although, who needs an alarm clock when you're kids are getting you up every morning at 5:30am? I know, I know. You're thinking, "But Leah, how are you writing this in the morning?  You just told us in a lot of words that you're not a morning person."  So how am I writing this in the morning? Well 1) I don't have to speak using my face and 2) It is after 7 am.   

So this morning, as with many mornings, we had three midnight visitors.  It's been pretty chilly at night, although the kids' room is cozy and warm.  The twins always sleep together so they're always warm and my oldest sleeps on a top bunk where it's warmer.  But, for some reason they ALL 3 came into our room around 3 or 4 in the morning, and, (wait for it) ACTUALLY WENT TO SLEEP!  Holy crap, it was amazing!  Except for the part where Sean and I were at the very edges of the bed and our feet were covered by our 2 cats and the big husky-- ever the opportunist, he didn't get into bed until the kids where there -- basically we couldn't move, it was pretty nice.  They got in our bed, crammed themselves between us and then snuggled in and went to sleep.  It was awesome.  Nobody woke up until 7; everyone was in a good mood.  It was amazing.  Here, I'll say it again.  It was amazing!  

We have a king size bed, but it's possible we need a bigger one.   

Peace out. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Hoo-whee! Cajun Gumbo

Last night I was watching a video of an old cooking show I used to watch ALL the time.  It was Justin Wilson's New Orleans Cajun cooking show.  Too bad he's not alive anymore, he was a real original. Now with the weather chilly and rainy, I feel that gumbo is in order for dinner tonight.  Justin's pretty funny if you can understand what he's saying.  I have been making his cajun gumbo for years and it's a success every time.  I have modified a tiny bit on occasion but only by adding shrimp and replacing balsamic for the steak sauce because I can't have the soy sauce in it.  Sometimes I put okra or cutting down the hot sauce a little so the kids can eat it.  The most important things that can't be changed is cajun style roux (very very dark) and the hot sauce.

I cook it in the slow cooker, low and slow and add shrimp at the 20 minute mark before I serve it.  When we eat it, we eat it with big fat potato rolls.
Hoo-wee!  Dat's fo troo, I GARONETEE!

Just search on YouTube for Justin Wilson Gumbo if you want to hear him.

Chicken and Andouille Gumbo
  • 3/4 cup olive oil
  • 1 1/2 cups flour
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1 large garlic clove
  • 4 cups water
  • 4 cups wine
  • 2 tablespoons worcestershire sauce (or balsamic vinegar  if you can't have soy)
  • 1 teaspoon Louisiana  Hot Sauce or Tabasco (to taste)
  • 1-2 lbs Chicken
  • salt to taste
In a large pot, heat the oil over a medium fire, then add the flour and make a very dark roux, like coffee with no cream, just this side of burned.  It should take about 45 minutes. Add the onions cook, stirring constantly, until the onions are clear. Add the garlic, water, steak sauce, hot sauce and wine, then drop in the chicken and sausage. Stir to combine, then let it cook, covered, for 2 or more hours.
Peace, Love and Chicken Grease. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Lazy Day

With my cold, my son's cold and the girls just getting over theirs we've been attempting to rest and relax this week.  Today is a good day for it, it's cold and rainy.  So, we watched/ are watching Arthur Christmas (we're currently on the third viewing for the day).  I started bread in the bread maker and apple banana bread in the oven and we went outside in the rain and kicked leaves up and down the yard and street.  Then we came back in and I made some cookies, delivered the 2 loaves of apple banana bread to two of our neighbors and came back in and watched the movie again with warm milk and cookies.  We're on our 3rd viewing and all snuggled up on the couch with bread baking in the bread maker.  The house is cozy and it smells soooo good.   Happy Thursday Y'all.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Chow Chow and Squash

No, I don't mean the dog food.  I'm fixin' to give you all a little edification.

I do the CSA (community supported agriculture) box.  It's less time consuming than going to the farmer's market and better tasting than going to Safeway.  The box gives me season fruit and veg which gives me veg that I wouldn't normally buy myself.  We are drowning in apples.  I think I've made everything I can make with them: apple sauce, apple pie filling for the freezer, baked apples, apple/banana bread, apple donuts, apple cider, poached apples for pork chops...  The apple sauce my kids snarf up on a regular basis so that's not  so bad since we need it all the time.  Luckily, we have a chest freezer so whatever I make I can jar and freeze.  Last week we got some guavas in the box that turned into some tasty guava jam.  We also were getting delicata and butternut squash. We kept getting cabbage which was fine with me because we were also getting padron peppers so I prepped it all and froze it so I could make some Chow Chow when the tomato season here stopped for the green tomatoes.  Hey all y'all, it's chow chow time!

Chow Chow is so super tasty.  It's my favorite relish and I use it on all beans, cooked greens, soups, sausage and hot dogs.  For the uninitiated,  chow chow or 'piccalilli is a relish made from the end of summer vegetables so nothing from the garden gets wasted.  Because I lived in North Carolina and half my family is from there and lives there, I favor two specific kinds.   It's a chow chow you can get hot or not and it has cabbage, green tomatoes and mustard seed.  My other favorite has fennel instead of cabbage but all the other ingredients are the same.  To make the hot version, jalapeños are added.  I had a favorite brand too and my mom used to send it to me once I moved out here to California because I couldn't get that brand or version of it anywhere.  I tried looking online and nobody had that type of Chow Chow.  It's just like North Carolina barbecue, there were many chefs and restaurants here in the Bay Area that claimed to have it on their menu, but it wasn't really North Carolina barbecue.

So, I am about to settle in and make mine that I've been making for 4 years now.  I have some jalapenos  that came in the box last week; I scavenged mine and my neighbor's green tomatoes since the plants are done for the season.  I make both cabbage or fennel (not both in the same batch) with brown mustard seed, jalapenos and padron peppers and green tomatoes.  Then I jar it and eat it!


Now then, on to the squash.  I love butternut squash and delicata squash, not to make soup (although that's good too), but, because I love to make stuffing and chili with them.  Both can be roasted, but I like the delicata squash most because you can eat the peel.  If you roast it until it's just carmelized you can slice it and eat it just like that.

The lovely delicata has a peel that can be eaten so it's not quite the labor intensive squash that butternuts are.  You can deseed them and roast them, then dig out the flesh and mix it with cooked rice or lentils, sauteed veg and sausage.  Stuff all of that back into the already baked shell and put it back into the oven to heat it all up again.  It's so good, just typing about it makes me drool.

You can do the same with a butternut, but you can't eat the peel so it's way more labor intensive if you want to make soup or anything with it.  Still worth it though.  Soup is the least of things this squash can do.  I like to make black bean and butternut squash chili with it.  Oh! and my favorite, also good for Thanksgiving, butternut squash, blue cornbread, jalapeño, chorizo stuffing.  

peace out

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Confessions of a Sugar Fiend

Why is it that I can quit smoking but I somehow can not control myself when it comes to sugar?  If candy is in the house, I devour it by the handfuls.  Halloween is, in that aspect, the worst holiday ever.  I had one unopened bag of a variety pack of mini candy bars intending to return them to the store and get my money back.  I didn't do that errand soon enough.  The bag sat on the island in my kitchen for too long and last night I probably ate three handfuls, about 15 mini candy bars.  Then this morning I grabbed about 5 more and ate them with my coffee.  I feel pretty gross and yet I can't seem to stop eating them.  This is why I can't have candy of any sort in the house.

I've managed to quite all other vices I had in the past, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes but candy seems to be my downfall.  It's a slippery slope too.  I eat one cookie/jellybean/candy bar/lollipop and suddenly I'm hunting down the source.  When I locate the bag or box I just eat them all day and before I know it, the bag or box is completely empty by the end of the day.  It's not uncommon for me to buy something and eat half of the box or bag while in the checkout line.  Two weeks ago I was craving sugar so badly I bought a box of Nutter Bars and ate three double bar packages out of the box while I was checking out.  I couldn't even be bothered to stop eating while I loaded everything from my cart onto the conveyor belt.  I loaded stuff up one handed while I held the nutter bar I was eating with the other hand. *sigh*

When I was pregnant with my oldest and with the twins, I was even worse.  I didn't think I could be worse.  With my oldest, if there were no sweets in the house, I would make brown sugar butter balls and just stand in the kitchen chowing down on them.   When I was 8 months pregnant with my oldest, my husband came home to find me sitting in the middle of the couch with my feet up watching the Food Network surrounded by opened bags of Oreos, HoHos, oatmeal cookes and jelly beans with a 2 liter bottle of caffeine free Coke on the table.

When I was 5 months pregnant with the twins I would make the Pilsbury tube of giant cinnamon rolls that you open up and bake with the little container of icing.  Then I would proceed to to watch some chef show and eat all 6 of those cinnamon rolls in one sitting and lick the icing container.

I've been known to buy a tub of icing and then use a candy cane to eat it with while we watch a movie.
Sometimes it's stress that drives me to snarf sugar with abandon, sometimes not.

I have to take the car in for service today.  I tried to change the turn signal light on the front of the car myself and was forced to look online from the directions so I wouldn't force something and break it by accident.  I looked at the diagram and specs.  I would have to remove the front tire, remove the fender inside, unscrew the entire housing, THEN I can change the bulb.  The car has two recalls on it anyway.  I told the car, "fuck you car." I will be taking it to the dealer which just irritates me to no end and I will probably snarf the rest of this bag of mini candy bars as a result.

Yesterday the telco guy came and my kids were playing nicely outside and out of the way.  They had made a fort out of the outdoor furniture cushions and the metal framed bench.  I was in the kitchen; they were right outside the kitchen window.  The telco guy was about 10 feet away fixing something or other.  Then I hear:  "NAKED DIVING!!!"  I ran outside yelling, "NOOOOO" to where they were; but I was soooo slow like I was running through mud.  There they were, all three of them naked, all poised to jump into the pile of cushions with the metal bench underneath.  I envisioned lots of crying, bruises and blood...   The telco guy looked at me when I came back in, he said, "Did they yell 'Naked Diving'"  I said, "Um, yup."

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease

Monday, November 5, 2012

Herding Snails

Because that's what motivating children (sometimes myself) is like even when it's something
they -want- to do, much less when it's something they don't.  It's a day for going down the list: work, chores, errands, waiting for the telco guy and the bug guy, paying bills, paying bills, paying bills...  We have a definite weekly pattern.  We run around manically on Mondays doing the things we ignored last week and over the weekend because Tuesdays are trash day.

*WHINE* It's just so HARD today.  It's a great day for procrastinating. It's sunny, warm and beautiful outside.  The perfect day for throwing open the windows, playing outdoors, going for walks or hikes and doing the outside chores.  I love living in California.   Let me leave you with this little scenario from September that I will embarrass my children with for years and years to come.  I'll set it up for you.  A young woman who regularly babysat for us, who is a friend of the family, was over for dinner before she went to southern California to finish her master's.  It was my husband and I, the three wild monkeys, and her.  Dinner finished and ran into bedtime which my husband usually does.  So our friend and I were chatting, attempting an adult conversation about 10 feet away from the bathroom where the twins were taking a bath with a complete view of the twins' heads and shoulders:

Killer: Keep an eye on the twins while they're in the tub, OK? 
Me: Sure. *walks down to the end of the hall where I can still see them but not -into- the tub* 
5 minutes later...
Killer: OMG! OH MY GOD!!! Why is there poop in the sink? WHY IS THERE POOP IN THE TUB! YOU TWO STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! No. NO! MAX, PUT IT DOWN!!!!

We could not stop laughing.  I couldn't help Killer because I was paralyzed with laughter.  I was laughing so hard I was crying, so hard I couldn't breathe, so hard no sound was coming out, so hard I actually had to lay down.   

I didn't notice because I could only see their heads and shoulders, not the water.  They were laughing and having a good time so I didn't think anything of it. 

Killer was so pissed at me.  It was a fine way to send off our friend too.  She'll have a great story and it was good birth control for her.   Peace out.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

NaNoWriMo meet NaBloPoMo. Now Let's Party!

    I've entered myself into a writing marathon, as if I've ever committed myself to any kind of marathon much less a writing marathon.   I've committed myself to NaNoWriMo and also to NaBloPomMo.  I'm 3  4 days behind on the second "event", if you will.  "What," you ask, "are you blabbering about?" It does look kind of like gibberish.  The first is National Novel Writing Month and the latter is National Blog Posting Month.    
    NaBloPoMo will be the opportunity for me to quit procrastinating and actually update and regularly post to my flagging sad little neglected blog.   Maybe it's a bit meta to blog about writing.  We'll see I guess.  My intention is to blog daily of my experiences with life and life with my family.  Some inner, some outer, all posted.  Saundra over at Little Fisch in a Big Pond unknowingly inspired me to write and participate in NaBloPoMo; and, my reason is the same as hers as she put it, " find my voice and own it." Also, as a kind of brain dump to get everything I want to say about daily life out of the way so I can write my novel which only tenuously draws material from my life.  Although, I realize I just quoted someone else about their reason for NaBloPoMo in my own blog as my reason.  Maybe not such a great start, so far Me: 0 Everyone Else: 1.  So, here we go!

    As of last night, I was forced to put in earplugs because my family's cold apparently doesn't realize when it should go to bed and shut the F up so I can get some shut eye.  I'm surrounded by coughing sniffling sneezing people and they all want to sleep in my bed.  It is incredibly difficult to write anything while they are making such a ruckus, but, I'm doing it anyway.  I have earplugs, and thank God for giving us the person who came up with these little squishy things.  Thank God for the brilliance of the person that packaged them in a jar.   Peace out.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Dagnabit! Spilled The Coffee... Again.

      Spilled my coffee, dropped my papers, juggled my keys, juggled the cups unloading the dishwasher, tripped over my own feet, I could keep going with this list.  It's like the shidt just jumps right out of my hands.  When I trip it's like air became solid for just an instant just so I could trip over it.  I have to say I've become adept at falling in ways that allow me to sustain the least amount of injury.  Sometimes I don't remember tripping, falling or running into anything until I notice the bruise later.  The kids distract me from everything.  But, seriously, what the hell is going on?  It's gotten worse because I don't remember this happening so much.  I guess they're seizures.
       Am I the only one that just heard that record scratch to a halt?  Say what?  Yep, seizures.  The list of things I have heard doctors say to me over the last 4 years: 

                     Oh, it's just pregnancy hormones.  Oh, you're just stressed out and tired because you're a mother of 3 small kids.  Oh, you're just sleep deprived because you have 3 small kids.  Oh, you're just depressed because you're tired because you have 3 small kids.  Oh, you have 3 small kids, everything wrong that you feel is normal because of them.  Oh, you had a tonic clonic seizure that wasn't a seizure but maybe it was, but that's fine.  Everyone has one sooner or later in their lifetime.  Oh, you're twitchy because you're tired because you have 3 small kids.  Oh, you're tired because you're doing too much and you have 3 small kids.  Oh, it's just pregnancy hormones even though your youngest children are 2 years old.  It's totally normal, the bleeding and constant migraines.  The pain in your gut and your inability to swallow is normal because you have 3 small kids.  Oh, you're stuttering and you can't find your words because you have 3 small kids. 

ENOUGH! NONE of how I have felt for the last 5 years is normal, not one single thing.  I advocated for myself and I feel good for the first time in 5-6 years.  By advocating for myself I learned the following: 
 1) I was not feeling the way I felt because I had 3 small kids.
 2) It does pay to have a PPO
 3) My OB/GYN and GI doctors are fantastic.  
 4) Sometimes scary symptoms are not scary diseases, but several simple conditions put together.
 5) I found out that my GP is shidty and I need a new one.  

"What the hell is wrong with you anyway," you might ask? Well, let me tell you.  I have 3 small kids.  I already had some conditions before the children that they completely exacerbated, except that I didn't know I had the conditions.  
I have: 
 a severe rice and soy allergy as well as a soy intolerance
 chronic migraines 
 a heart murmur
 problems with my lady parts: adenomyosis, cysts, polyps, and fibroids.  We evicted the offending  
     organ before it took over my lower half.  It needed to be stopped! 
 Ah, also I'm mildly nearsighted and have osteoarthritis particularly in my spine.  Thanks skeleton!

I know, I sound like a barrel of laughs.  That's because I AM. 

Prior to finally seeing a doctor because I felt like utter crap, I only knew about the migraines.     They were frequent.  By, frequent I mean more than 10 a month.  Everything else my doctors unraveled for me and thank God for wonderful doctors.  The epilepsy, in particular, explains EVERYTHING at least since I was 18 (I'm 37 now).   
    Seems like a lot, yes?  It kinda is, especially with 3 small kids.  Honestly though without the 3 small kids all of these conditions would have eventually gotten worse without my realizing I had them until I ended up hospitalized.  Monkey, PW, and Chuckles are my blessing.