Friday, November 18, 2011


Our Friday evening started off with anticipation, excitement and suspense as all Friday evenings should.
Killer: Ok! Everybody in the car! Let's go!
Cora: Daddy! Max is flying!
Killer: Why is he flying? What does that mean??
A panicked Killer runs into the backyard to find out that Max is doing a plain ol' belly superman on the swing. They have not yet left the house for the scheduled Parent's Night Out (PNO) hosted by our local YMCA; and in case there wasn't enough commotion just getting those three little monkeys out the door, now the dog-- ever the opportunist-- is running amok in the street.
     I usually look forward to the PNO. The kids get dropped off for four blissful hours during which we pretend we have no children. We tend to celebrate a PNO in whatever way fits our mood. We attend concerts of all sorts, go to pubs, watch movies, eat fancy dinners, play video games, go rock wall climbing, walk the dog together at the same time, or do some home project that would take 10 times as long to do with three little monkeys in the way. I am really looking forward to this particular PNO because on Tuesday I found out that same Thursday I would be having urgent surgery on the inside of my lady parts. I had anticipated being medicated and laying around watching a movie with Killer, my heating pad, and my cramps in peace and quiet without my lovely children climbing all over me during their usual bedtime ruckus.
     Instead, I'm laying here in general misery thinking that Time's-A-Wastin' by being late getting the kids to the PNO; and, "Oh for fcuk's sake! Now the dog is out the front door and Killer sounds like he's going to lose his ever loving mind." So, now I have to convince my lower half to get up and rescue Killer from the kids as well as retrieve the dog who thinks getting to run around in the middle of the street with oncoming cars is Great Fun. I think Phyllis Diller said it best when she said, "It's like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing..." The quote is about cleaning house with small kids around, but it also applies to attempting to get some rest with a very awake family still in the house.

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